Lately, I have been more aware of how I internalize my emotions. I have always internalized things as a child and it’s still an issue today. In my time of prayer and fasting, I felt the Lord present a question to me. “Why do other people’s behaviors get to you so deeply?” Then I thought, “Why do you internalize so much?” Sometimes it gets to a point where I literally feel sick in my body. I realized I really take how people feel about me to heart.
The fact that God asked me “why” had me thinking. Is the practice of internalizing a bad thing? Does it do more harm than good?
I did (very minimal) research on what internalizing does to a person psychologically. I was surprised but also it made so much sense. Better Help and Psychology Today do a great job of breaking down what it means to internalize and how it develops into other mental illnesses if not addressed.
I love my relationship with God because when he brings something to my attention, that thing has been on his heart. God cares about the unnecessary load we carry around with us sometimes. He can see the weight we either choose to carry or we decide that God doesn’t care about this part of me so I’ll carry it. The word instructs us to cast all our care on him because he CARES (1 Peter 5:7). God cares about the mundane parts of our lives. God cares about the anxiety that plagues us. How burdened we feel is in direct correlation to how we show up in our relationship with God. When we feel weighed down by internalized behaviors it’s so much harder to hear God in those times. It’s so much harder to be obedient. We can’t obey what we are not hearing.
Constantly internalizing moments and mistakes puts us in this position where we give our feelings and issues center stage. Those things we are internalizing become more important than what God is saying about us and our situation. I know that when I am internalizing a lot, I am not focusing on God. In those moments (normally lasts days for me) I am magnifying a problem that usually does not belong to me. In this place, God is not glorified. So HOW do we combat internalized behavior? How do we fight the urge to internalize what sometimes doesn't belong to us? I love the tips Psychology Today offers us on how to overcome internalized behavior. Those practical tips are a great way to start breaking this habit.
In the next post, we will dive into how this habit affects our relationship with God. In the meantime, reflect on if you internalize a lot and how it affects the way you show up in life.
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