I am embarking on a journey that is long over due. I have
realized this is the time to love myself and to see myself the way God sees me.
Low self esteem can affect your ministry and affect what you do in your
everyday life. I have always struggled with low self esteem and loving myself
ever since I was a child. As a young adult it is the most difficult thing to
shake off, even though I am saved I am still carrying this load. I have
progressed ever since then I no longer hate myself I just don't like myself and
sometimes I can’t stand myself. I mean; we all have habits that we don't like
but the things that I don't like about myself are the ones I can’t change.
If I ever did
I wouldn't be authentic
I wouldn't be me.
I know I am not the only woman out here with insecurities
and low self esteem. There are so many that wake up every morning and wish they
hadn’t. Many who don't like what they see in the mirror, which could drive them
to self-harm.
Cutting
Suicide attempts
Hateful thoughts towards oneself/others
Anorexia
Eating disorders
There are many more that I may not have mentioned but
whatever your vice is, whatever you find solace in, and or whatever brings you
some type of escape…There is someone GREATER than these and he is GREATER than
your insecurities and your fears.
Poetry was my escape
Although I did try most of the things listed above none of
them did it for me. Granted they did provide a mini escape from my thoughts and
the voices in my head but the feeling never lasted.
Jesus. That is something that lasts and not only is he our
escape but he is our destination. He is where we want to be. If you are
struggling with self-image or self-loathing I hope and pray that by sharing my
journey and being transparent will help you to start your own.
No journey is ever easy. Especially when it is dealing with
the ugly parts of you that you don't want to face. This journey is not fun but
it is necessary.
Keep me in prayer as I pray
for you as well.
Blessings,
~ Zainab ~
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